Hyper-G

Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is a severe form of nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. It is generally described as unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids. If severe and/or inadequately treated, it is typically associated with:

* loss of greater than 5% of pre-pregnancy body weight (usually over 10%)
* dehydration and production of ketones
* nutritional deficiencies
* metabolic imbalances
* difficulty with daily activities

HG usually extends beyond the first trimester and may resolve by 21 weeks; however, it can last the entire pregnancy in less than half of these women. Complications of vomiting (e.g. gastric ulcers, esophageal bleeding, malnutrition, etc.) may also contribute to and worsen ongoing nausea.

....That's copy and pasted from a website I've spent alot of time at recently.
http://www.helpher.org

Rach is 12 weeks pregnant, and should be feeling like a champ according to anyone who's had a normal pregnancy. Needless to say from my last two posts... she could be feeling better.

I'm sure that most of the peeps that I talk to probably think I'm just trying to elicit some kind of sympathy. Truth is, all I wanna do is vent some of this stuff that's tying my stomach in knots. Both of us hate drugs and hospitals and everything they imply. We are not the kind of people that even like to take headache meds. I'd rather find the cause and encourage the body to heal itself. Rach'd rather sleep through it or ignore it.

And yet we're stuck. Both of us fighting with these damn meds to find a balance of sanity and control. Chasing down drug names and interactions and side effects. All the while worrying about how this drugged up little baby is gonna feel in a suddenly drug free world. Are we ****ing him up by coursing these freakishly disturbing chemicals through Rach's body.

But there's no choice. Rach's health is critical to both her and any chance for this little guy to get out alive. It's almost like an allergic reaction Rach is having to this baby inside her. Only instead of reacting against it, it's overacting to protect it. At the cost of Rach's health and self-sustainability.

My hope is that this is all just a reaction to some bleeding in the placenta, and that once that's all healed up (and hopefully soon), Rach's body will go back to normal pregnancy mode. We have an appointment on Tuesday, and hopefully we can have a good chat and try to clear up some of the questions in our head. I doubt they'll have any solid answers, but at least I can run some of my theories by them and see what they say. I'm hoping that by understanding it a little better, I'll be able to better cope with it all.

And with that, I'll get back to sleep. Pray for us. All three of us.
-len

Scared shitless..

After what we've been through these past few weeks Rach and I have seemed to come around to the conclusion that the only way to keep food down is some sort of anti-nausea meds. Well maybe just I have. Rach decided yesterday that she would try (after 2 or 3 days of moderate success) to drop the pills.

She'll at least take the folic acid if I help remind her, and I'm thankful for that. Because with all this vomiting, it doesn't matter how "good" she eats if she doesn't keep it down. I'm hoping that those vitamins should be helping to at least keep the baby from being malformed while we experiment to try and stabilize Rach's health (if any of them are getting in her system).

Yesterday Rach was upset, understandably about trying to eat enough to keep her weight up. She said she wasn't very good at eating lots. I think I've probably been putting alot of pressure on her to keep trying to eat stuff. I told her that she doesn't need to just eat, but we need to find things she enjoys, so it's not some kind of a chore.

Right now she just needs to keep something down, anything. It all gets broken down into some form of energy, and hopefully the vitamins help with the rest. Once there's something for energy in there we can focus on the right forms, and protein carbohydrate balance. But I'm still very frustrated, because everything she ate yesterday came up in a whirlwind and she seems like she's back to where we were two days ago.

So if I didn't mention already, I'm very frustrated and back to feeling very helpless. I can't very well force Rachael to manage her pregnancy and I'm scared to know what it's all doing to her. I can't even tell you what it's doing to me. I can't go to work like this. I can't leave her not knowing if she's going to give up. I don't want to lose her. At this point I understand those people who would consider giving up the baby for the health of the mother. No matter how much I want this child.. I couldn't live without Rach.

I'll never find anyone like Rach. Never again in all of my life. I don't want to even imagine my life without her... it's only barely started with her. Why did I try to fulfill my selfish desire to be a father without being prepared for this? Could I have been more selfish?

Now that I've had a bit of a tear over my thoughts, I think I may try to sleep some more. Hopefully Rach will be willing try to fight this thing again in the morning. Please God, give her the will to fight this thing in the morning and into it's fruition. I'm scared.
-len

Sleep it off..

It's the start of the 10th week and I'm frightened for Rachael's health. She's lost 5 pounds from nausea (and probably the lack of tasty options for food she can eat without hurling). Yesterday we went to the doctor for help and he just seemed to make it worse. It seemed like the doc was going to more trouble trying to bring his student Rosy out of her shell more than he was really trying to diagnose anything for Rachael. That's a male doctor for you anyway. They're not very good listeners. He didn't even know that Rachael was Vegitarian (look at her folder for goodness sakes).

To make things worse, when we went to the doctor, they reflex jerk gave her a shot in the bum for nausea. Next thing I know, it's just Rach and I on the floor.. Rach vomiting what little fluid she had left in her body. She needed water desperately and the doc said to take little sips. The shot was supposed to help nausea, but she's still not eating. Everytime she nibbles a cracker, she burps and reflexes like it's gonna come right back.

She's sleeping like a baby, but she needs to be fed. I'm really scared. I don't know what happens to a person when they don't eat for so long. I know when I do that, my body starts to attack itself. I've come to believe that this is no place for vegitarians. America is so damn meat focused, it makes me sick. That hospital that Jenny works at would be ideal right now. They wouldn't try to stick her with a needle before they have time to check her out. They wouldn't stick her and nudge her out the door. They wouldn't tell me to feed her chicken broth and then shrug thier shoulders when I tell them she's a vegitarian.

I guess there's no place like OZ for that kind of treatment, and so we may have to head back home sooner than we'd planned. I don't care if we can afford it, or if debts here aren't paid off.. I need Rach to be well. I can't let her suffer under a system that's so incompatible with anyone but a cookie cutter cholesterol guzzler. The medical profession seems to be established to cater only to fat lazy heart attack patients and drug induced hemopheliacs and I'm sick of it.

Or maybe it's just me..
-len